


Emotional Outbursts

by tooberjoober



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Gen, after Journey to Babel, very minor Jim appearance and Spirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:15:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25779550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tooberjoober/pseuds/tooberjoober
Summary: After the events of Journey to Babel, Spock has a conversation with his parents about who he is and how they treat him
Comments: 15
Kudos: 74





	Emotional Outbursts

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys. I suddenly felt very passionate about this and wrote it in a few hours without editing or anything so… have fun with that. Anyways if you like this you should read some of my other fics, there are many of them.
> 
> Enjoy Spock telling off his parents, and if you do, let me know!

Spock's eyes opened slowly as he heard the door to his quarter's announce someone's presence. "Who is it?" He called back. It was well into the evening. The only one that normally called on him at this time was Jim, but the Captain normally knocked on the door of their shared bathroom. Not to mention the fact that Jim was resting for their first shift back tomorrow.

There was hesitation at the door, before that all too familiar voice answered. "Sarek… and wife." Spock barely managed to hold back a very unVulcan sigh, as he pushed himself to his feet. Despite the fact that he was cleared to start working, his body was still exhausted from what he put it through for the operation.

"Enter." Spock said, pulling his meditation robes a bit closer around himself.

Sarek and Amanda entered, fingers touching as they often were, Amanda supporting Sarek slightly. Spock fought back an eyeroll at the affection. He looked at his parents expectedly.

Amanda nudged Sarek lightly, removing her hand from his. Sarek cleared his throat. "Your mother thought it best that we say goodbye now, since you are returning to the bridge tomorrow."

"We didn't want to interrupt your first day back to work." Amanda smiled fondly at her son.

Spock nodded, unsure of how to respond. Eighteen years of silence hung heavily in the space between them. "Thank you… for your consideration." He said after a moment. He wanted to be neutral, to be Vulcan, but waves of frustration crashed over him as he looked at his parents.

Sarek nodded, glancing over to Amanda to gauge her satisfaction. "Goodbye, Spock." He said, beginning to turn.

"May I speak to you for a moment, Ambassador?" Spock asked, his voice almost surprising himself.

A look of surprise passed briefly over Sarek's face before he schooled his features back into their typical neutrality. "Of course." He said.

Spock led his father into the partitioned bedroom. It didn't afford them much privacy, but he didn't really care. "I saved your life." Spock said, as though this were a fact that needed repeating.

"I am aware." Sarek's brows raised slightly, as though he were placating a child. Spock felt his blood boil at his father's condescending tone.

"It was not logical for me to do so." Spock said.

"What do you mean?"

"My Captain had been mortally stabbed and there were sabateurs on the ship. I am no fool. I know McCoy would not have cleared Captain Kirk for duty, and yet as soon as I saw him, I rushed down to risk _my life_ for yours."

"What do you wish to gain by explaining this?" Sarek huffed, moving to sit down.

"I wish to see a small amount of gratitude or acknowledgement of what I risked for you." Spock responded, a small frown taking over his face.

Sarek scoffed. "You wish for me to give you some human sentiment? You want me to praise your lack of logic?"

Spock's expression darkened. "I wish for you to recognize that I am your son. For the forseeable future, I am your _only child_."

"You are not–" Sarek began to argue.

"When did you last speak to Sybok?" Spock demanded.

Sarek's frown was small, but it was noticeable and familiar to Spock. "You know when."

"When did you last speak to Michael?"

"You know when." Sarek repeated, emphasizing the words.

"We have not spoken for eighteen years, and yet I still work so hard for your approval." Spock said, shaking his head slightly. "I do want to have a positive relationship with you."

" _This_ is why we cannot!" Sarek exclaimed. "You ran off away from your culture to embrace emotionalism and humans. _You are Vulcan!_ And yet you do not act like it!"

"I am not only Vulcan!" Spock shouted. "I am human too." He said desperately. "I have spent years trying to fight that part of me, trying to ignore it or hide it away, but I cannot. I am as human as I am Vulcan. If you wanted a Vulcan son, you should have had one." His voice grew quiet. "You… admired human culture. Why do you hate when your children do the same?"

"Vulcans do not hate." Sarek said slowly.

"Then why act as if you do?" Spock asked.

Sarek stood slowly, and Spock was reminded of how fragile he was. He thought of how he held his father's life in his hands only days before. Even in bitterness he couldn't wish he acted differently.

Amanda stepped into the room, a mix of emotions present on her face as she watched her husband leave. "That was very human of you, Spock." She commented, a small smile taking over her features for a moment.

"I am not human either." Spock said, frustration once again rising in his chest. "You are not free from my father's sins." He frowned. "You chose to raise a son on Vulcan, in the Vulcan tradition. You told me it was a better way. Yet there are moments, cruelly human moments, where you shouted and berated me for not being human." He said, thinking back to the sting of his mother's hand across his cheek. "I am not human, I am not Vulcan. You cannot expect me to be fully either."

Spock didn't look at his mother. He knew the face she would be making, heartbroken although nothing he said was false. "We… tried, Spock." She said after a moment. "There had never been anyone like you–"

"That implies that there ever is." Spock responded quickly, still avoiding her gaze. "When having a child you must be prepared for any outcome. For them to embrace or discard your culture, your teachings. For them to refuse your plans and make their own. You can not control anyone, not even your child."

Amanda sighed. "Maybe you'll understand once you have children."

"I will not have children." Spock responded.

"We know about…" Amanda trailed off awkwardly. "But we've been looking, for the next time–"

"I did not want T'Pring. I will not want whoever you send." Spock snapped.

"Spock, you will die." Sarek argued from behind his wife.

"I will not." Spock shot a look to his father. "You… neither of you… understand. It has been so long. I have changed and learned and grown. I know myself better than you ever have or ever will. You do not know what is best." He said in a tone of voice that was almost pleading for them to understand. There was a long moment of silence.

"No… I suppose not." Amanda said with a look of stoic determination. She took Sarek by the arm, leading him towards the door. "Goodbye Spock." She glanced over her shoulder one last time before the pair left. Sarek didn't look back.

First Spock felt what was almost a wave of shame wash over him for his emotional outbursts. Then he felt nothing but relief.

There was a knock at the bathroom door. "Hey, Spock?" Jim called. "I um… heard a bit of that. You alright?"

Spock felt warmth blossom in his chest and held back the urge to smile. "Go rest, Jim." He called back. "I am fine."


End file.
